I need help, opinions and advice.. So for anyone with a little boy PLEASE leave me your opinion. I didn't want to post this on Facebook, I find arguments always start on there when people have different opinions, so I'm hoping I can just do it on here and get enough information to make the "right" decision.
So the big topic.. Circumcision.. to do or not to do?? apparently that is a big question
I just figured it got done, and thats what everyone did when they had a boy, till I asked my doctor about it and he told me very rarely it gets done anymore, and "specialists" wont even book you in unless its for medical reasons, so you have to find a clinic and trust they know what they are doing. Kinda scary!
So PLEASE if you have a baby boy and have information or an opinion id LOVE to hear it, anything at this point would help, because other than just "thinking it got done" I know nothing and don't know much about it.
15 comments:
Our boys are not circumsized. I left the choice up to Brian, and my reasoning was "I don't have one. I'm not sure the difference." So he chose not to. As long as you teach them to clean propertly, for health reasons, I'm not sure it makes a difference. Circumsized are nicer asthetically, though.
GET IT DONE!!!
If you do not get it done before they are one month old they cannot get it done until after they are 5! So that means if it is not cleaned properly (for example) and it gets infected he would have to go through the trauma of getting it done when he is old enough to remember, or worse not tell you there is a problem because he is older and embarrassed.
Plus it looks a lot nicer! I honestly think that now days people are just too cheap to pay the $200 to get it done, because before it was covered through alberta health and now it is not.
Also when he is older he will wonder why he looks different then daddy and you will have to explain that.
Kim,
I know of two other people with boys who did not get it done and when they were older (one at age 4, the other at age 8) got infections so badly that they had to get it done at an older age.
My son had it done. Lots of doctors don't recommmend it anymore, but at such a young age they will have no memory of it.
-meagan.
Kim, I really hope that your other friends feel the same as I do when I say that I will respect your decision, whether it is what I would choose for my boys or not. I will NOT tell you what to do, because what is right for you and your family may not be right for me. Everyone is different and that is the beauty of this world. Who am I to judge.
I did the same as you are doing now though; I talked to anyone and everyone that felt comfortable talking to me about their experiences and thoughts on circumcision. I also did a TON of research and it’s all still fresh in my mind, lol! It’s a big decision that cannot be undone and I didn’t want to choose wrong. In doing this, I quickly realized that I needed to ignore people’s opinions and weigh the ACTUAL pro’s and con’s. Make a list if you have to. There are, obviously, pro’s and con’s to both and I am neither strictly pro or against but I will tell you, in my personal opinion- take it or leave it, what I felt were the stronger arguments and reasons for us deciding to not get our boys circumcised. I simply found that the people who are in favor of infant circumcision tend to be women and circumcised men. Although, I DID actually talk to a circumcised guy that said he wished the decision had not been made for him. Really, it’s extremely rare to hear of any uncircumcised men in favor of infant circumcision. I think that says enough about the validity (or lack thereof) of so-called “health benefits” of routine infant circumcision.
Some women may prefer a circumcised penis because it looks cleaner. In my opinion, that’s no different from a man saying a vagina is dirty. Uncircumcised penis’ can be kept just as clean with pretty much the same cleaning habits. We need to have a mature attitude about genitalia and realize that what is natural is normal. If nature/God had intended men not to have foreskin, then men wouldn’t be born with foreskin. That being said, I am not necessarily against it either, just another point that led me to my decision. I wouldn’t want anyone with a scalpel near my daughter’s folds of functional, protective skin. As for it being more cosmetically appealing…maybe! BUT is it really or is that just what most people are used to(especially the grandparents and some parents) but that is very quickly changing! Especially now that in Alberta only 4out of 10 boys are circumcised for non religious reasons, looking different than everyone else in the locker room is not even an issue (shouldn’t have been anyways).
Sorry I wrote you a novel-maybe I should have pm you this instead. Oh well, too late now! So here's more, haha. I am glad I copied it before it all got deleted!
I have done some research on men who grew up differently than their fathers (circumcised speaking of course). I have never once heard it be an issue. As far as I am concerned, you need to teach that not every male’s penis is going to look the same and they need to respect that. No one I am aware of was traumatized or even bothered at all, by not having the exact same penis as their father. End of story. Non-issue as far as I am concerned.
I don’t like to think about my son ever, ever(!) having sex but it’s a reality that the foreskin has more sexual nerve endings than the clitoris. Now I really don’t know if an uncircumcised penis has better or worse sex than a circumcised penis and when it comes to my son, I don’t really care, lol! Call me crazy but I just simply didn’t feel right about cutting off normal, healthy body parts. That’s it. I don’t think it’s wise to get my son’s toe nail removed because he might possibly suffer from a few ingrown toenails one day, or get his tonsils removed-just in case he gets tonsillitis; so why would a penis be any different? In Finland, no infants are circumcised, and only 1 in 16,667 adults end up needing circumcision for medical reasons. 0.006%. Not high enough for me. It’s always I know a person, a friend of a friend of a friend….
Sorry but I am pretty sure that anyone who felt strongly enough about circumcision would find a way to pay the $200.
You are going to get strong arguments on both sides, and I even agree with a couple of the pro’s but in the end these outweighed those for me. Please don’t let anyone tell you what to do! Lots of people (including myself:)) can have some extremely loud opinions. I think it’s very close-minded and ignorant of anyone to think there is only one option to choose (either way). Research it for yourself and figure out what YOU and your hubby feel is best for yourselves. These are just the reasons that led us to our decision. In fact, my hubby wanted to have our boys done regardless of my opinion and research said and I was going to let him make that decision simply because after all, it wasn’t me that grew up with a penis. It was only until a couple weeks after the boys were born that he finally decided not to have it done. I was, obviously, okay with that too, lol! Good Luck with your decision!Nadia.
WOW!!! I applaud Nadia, that was amazing and I could just say amen to her but I'm going to add my 2 cents as well! :)
I agree, you have to do what is right for YOU because people will always want to push their opinions on you but I will tell you what I learned when deciding whether we should or shouldn't have our boys done and you can decide for yourself.
My husband and I were both on the fence for a while, we didn't have a strong opinion either way. My husband grew up in a family of 6 boys - 4 are circumcised and 2 are not - all are fine and functioning and which is more aesthetically pleasing is up to personal preference I suppose - and who's comparing? I talked to his mom a lot about it as she raised boys with both and she said that she didn't have a strong preference one way or the other either but if she were to do it again she would leave them all as they came as looking back now it doesn't seem necessary. Which brings me to my next point - like Nadia I feel why in the first few weeks of their lives are WE coming in and interfering with how they were created? If the purpose is strictly preventative then let's take out their appendix while we're at it - I've heard that can cause awful pain! I just feel that the foreskin is there for a reason, just as are our fingernails, eyelashes and other little details.
Whether my boys match their father is not an issue for me, when/IF the time comes that they notice my husband can explain that some boys are circumcised and some boys are not. End of story, no big deal. Do you think that all vaginas look the same? Hardly.
In my baby group of 7 boys only 1 one circumcised. I do not think that any of us were concerned with the cost, I feel that parents now are thinking for themselves and deciding if circumcision is right for their family - instead of just doing what has always been done - in our culture. My father who grew up in South Africa reminded me that when little girls are circumcised it's called "mutilation" - what makes it different for little boys?
In my research I also spoke with a good male friend who is not circumcised and asked how he felt about it, if the "upkeep" is really that daunting a task and he just laughed. As far as people saying it's more clean or better hygienically is offensive. I don't think this friend would appreciate that people imply he's "dirty." It's no different than washing any other body part - just keep it clean as you would your ears. Yes, it MAY get infections but so do vaginas and so do other parts of the body!
When speaking with my doctor about it he said the MAIN reason people are circumcising now is for cosmetic reasons - how it looks. That just wasn't enough for me to do it.
Now these were OUR reasons, you must do what you feel is right. I do not judge or scoff at those that choose to do it, they have the right to have it done. It just wasn't for me and my family.
Good luck in your research - find something that feels right for you!
Sorry, I deleted my above comment - it was the same but I just added some things I didn't want to leave out! :) Good luck and what's most important is congratulations on having a boy!!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prevalence_of_circumcision
This site says that in Canada only 31% of babies get it done and in Alberta only 44% get it done. So it is the minority now. I have the hooded bandit and its worked for me so far. Also for those with LDS resurrection beliefs they will get it back someday anyways so might as well get used to it here, they will have it for the rest of eternity. lol.
I think I went through the same thing Kim! I always thought, you have a baby boy, you circumsize him, and that's it. And I always planned on circumcising my boys until I asked my doula and doctor about it, and they both told me it was rarely done anymore. I was really surprised!! So I also started doing LOTS and LOTS of research and talking to different people. I was on some site, I don't remember what, but lots of people were giving their opinions. The majority were against it, and the few that were for it really had to defend their decision. And some did a really good job. Since I always assumed it would get done, I felt like I was more looking for justification to do it. And kinda wanted people to tell me to do it. But I decided that no matter what I decided, I had to be able to defend that decision. Not to other people, but to myself and most importantly to my son. So as I read and read and talked to people, I just couldn't feel that strongly about doing it. I have nothing against it, but if I'm going to take a knife to my newborn baby's genitals by choice, I better feel very secure in my decision, and I just couldn't. And since I always thought everyone got it done I was worried about him looking different, but hearing some males opinions who played sports and showered naked with other guys, they said it was NEVER an issue, nobody ever cared at all. And yes, only 31% of boys get it done but those were stats for 2006/2007, it's gone down since then. So no matter what you decide just make sure you feel good about it and thats all that matters!
Haha, I went through the same thing! First of all, the stats that are quoted in the above comments are those getting circumcised for "non-religious" reasons - that leaves a large percentage that DO get it done for "religious" reasons. You'd be surprised at how many people still get it done. In Berkeley the stats were more like 30% total, but that is a VERY liberal area. Here in CO, circumcised boys are definitely still in the majority. That said, when I did my research, I kind of decided that there are pro's and con's either way (and honestly not huge pro's and con's either way!). I told Scott to make the decision since he's the one with the penis! He chose to get it done and it was seriously not a big deal. We had to pay $350 in Berkeley and there were only 2 or 3 Docs that did it there (don't let your Doc freak you out - the people that DO do circumcisions do tons of them and are very good at it). They used the "bell" method which was really easy to deal with and pretty fool proof (uses a plastic ring as a guide). Anyway, whatever you choose will be just fine so don't stress - not worth the anxiety!! If you have more boys, though, I would definitely say to stick with the same decision. We know families where some are circ'd and some aren't....the boys bug each other all the time! Good luck :). Oh and I'm due the 20th - we'll be in there together!
Oops, that last comment was me, but I posted under the wrong email address!? Strange :)
This is totally your choice, but I will comment. My boy got done when he was a month old. I wasn't sure if I wanted it done because it seemed so painful and he already hated getting his diaper changed. But if you get it done at this age it heals a lot faster! My nephew wasn't done, and then it got infected and he needed to get snipped when he was 18 months old...not fun and very traumatic. And if you get it done early you don't have to worry about it.
If you do decide to get it done, I will tell you something I heard from a friend of mine that totally saved me from my fears of him screaming. About an hour before the procedure put on some "emla" cream all over his business. It numbs him so he won't feel the freezing needle! You need to ask at the pharmacy counter for it and it's only about $10. We did this on our son and the doctor was shocked at how great he was throughout the whole process. He didn't make a peep.
Good luck on your decision! And best wishes for the arrival of your son!
~Kelly Glenn~
We had our boys circumcised for a couple reasons. 1- To avoid infections later on in life and 2) so they would look like Daddy and not have questions about why they were different. Benson cried while he was getting the freezing but then fell asleep while the procedure was actually getting done. McKay just didn't like being restrained so he fought it a bit. I personally preferrred the Bell method that Benson had done, it was easier to look after. Well, there are my two bits. Congrats and hope Jordan can make it back when your little man makes his debut!
kim
i would totally get it done.
You can either get it done at the hospital or at your pedo office.
We did jacob's at the pedo office and our dr was very patient and gentle with him. When we got it done she showed us that he already had some yucky stuff under the sink which can cause infections.
im Glad we did it cause i dont want to be cleaning that every time he goes to the bathroom. It is so much healthier just to get it done. One less thing to worry about.
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